I swear this story is absolutely for real. I had a book that was overdue. I went by the library on the way home from work one day to drop it off. I took it up to the desk and gave it to the librarian. Her name was Lisa. You could tell that underneath her librarian's glasses that she was really cute but I didn't think anything more about it because I figured she'd never be interested in a nerd like me. I thought I didn't stand a chance. Boy was I wrong! As I handed the book to her and pulled my arm back I knocked over a cup of coffee that was sitting at the edge of the desk. The coffee spilled all over my jeans. Boy did I feel like a fool! Lisa just laughed the way librarians do and said 'You've spilled coffee on your jeans. Why don't you hand them over to me and I'll wash them.' I didn't know what to do but I kept thinking Oh Shit! Because I couldn't believe this was happening. I swear to God this story is for real! Anyway, then she noticed the great bulge in the front of my jeans. She looked at me through those glasses and said six words I will just never forget! She said "Looks like your chicken needs choking". I almost freaked out! Anyway, so she pulled the chicken out of my pocket and set it on the counter in the library break room. I sat down at the break table as she dressed the chicken with a light herbal marinade after sprinkling a liberal amount of salt along the back. She filled the cavity with a breaded onion stuffing and, for good measure, added pepper seasoning. Then she brushed it with a lemon pepper baste. Then she pulled out a Reemco INTERIOR ROAST and I watched as she placed the stiff, thick, beautiful, instument into the chicken. Soon we had lunch and it was good.